Up Yours fatty, I don't want to start

I had a spare couple of hours this weekend and thus decided to get the beast onto blocks and axle stands to start the undersealing. I thought I would get it warm a bit first ... it started first time as usual so I reversed it out of the garage. All was well for a few minutes, it was burbling (and spluttering but never mind) nicely and then decided to stop. Similar to the breakdown fiasco of in October, the beast decided it was not going to restart. Lacking a hill and car tax, a bump start was out of the question. Not for the first time, I had to knock on neighbour's doors to help me to push the dungy old nail back into the garage. Needless to say, the underseal didn't get started. Recharging the battery is number 23 on the To Do list!

How to beg a carpet

It's quite easy really. You ask the director if the dark green rug that is in the company van is really needed. You already know the answer as the van has not had a ruggy carpet thing in it for the last 2 years. Sorted! One carpet set for the beast! If it dont fit in the cabin, the boot will look lovely!

Thanks to "The Wig"

Today, The Wig kindly "donated" four trailing arm bushes to the beast's restoration fund. Now where did I put the Haynes manual? ...

Winter To Do List

I got it back home - smoking and spluttering and smelling of fuel - and then started a to do list. And there would appear to be a lot to do! Some things are more nice than vital ie interior trimmings. Some are desperate ie another tune up and probably the clunking. Anyway, here be the list:

BODY
01 trailing arm bushes
02 differential gearing problem?
03 half shaft problem?
04 underseal

ENGINE
05 balance carbs again
06 change / move fuel pump DONE!
07 change distributor cap? DONE!
22 after #21 competed, rehose the heater

ELECTRICS
08 fix LH indicator DONE!
09 refit front fogs
10 fix hazard lights DONE!11 fan on a switch?
12 fix LH pop up light DONE!
13 fix flash / main beam DONE!
23 refit cruise lights
24 grease RH headlight
25 change the +ve & -ve leads and battery terminals DONE!
26 Fix the wires that Freddy ate
BRAKES
14 change front pads NO NEED, PLENTY OF LIFE LEFT!
15 change rear shoes NO NEED!, PLENTY OF LIFE LEFT!

INTERIOR
16 fit carpets
17 fit rear padding
18 fit x4 floor blanking plates DONE!
19 change the old headrest DONE!
20 clean the seats DONE!
21 remove dash and fix heater matrix

F F S

It's not raining so it's a TR day. I have a week left of tax afore it's SORNd so it is most definately a TR day. It started - as always. It wasn't particularly happy - as always. It popped and spluttered a bit - it does do that until it gets warm and then it is heel, toe and choke juggling time. I need cash and a sarnie so I stop at Tesco Express on the way. Very bad idea. "Nah, I aint starting, you can feck off". So there I sat, watching people go past in their nice warm and reliable cars. Backup called for.

We tried bump starting it in the car park. Nope. We tried on the way out of the car park.Nope. We towed it up the hill and round the corner. It would appear that the feckin hazards don't work either. The tow rope broke. We tried pushing it up the hill. Me arse. Arnie in his prime wouldn't shift that. A bloke pushing a pram had to help. What a fecking sight! What a fecking nail! Eventually, I sailed around the corner desperately trying to bump the bastard. Huzzah!

And it was still not happy. And it was backfiring alot. And quite frankly I am sick to fecking death of it. This isn't enjoyable. To own one of these very crap cars, one needs a shite load of dollars or alot of mechanical skills. I have neither. The to do list gets longer - I may just work on that and post again later today afore I start the mammoth quest to return home to my loveones - and thus the potential bill gets bigger. Neil spent £5000 on it and it is still crap! My patience is getting smaller. So far it owes me about £1700. If you know any one with a mental disorder and £1700, please tell me.

Clunking, Banging and Popping

Banging and Popping

This week has been a good week as I have managed to take the beast to work 4 days out of 5. Wow! The journeys have not been completely plain sailing though - as you could imagine if you are somewhat au fait with the content of this blog.

Typically, the beast starts with a bit of choke first time with no worries at all. It is obvious from the engine tone that it doesn't really want any choke and the smell of the engine is very petroly - too rich I am led to believe. But, and here is the dilemma, I can get over 3k revs if the choke is out but I can't idle without the choke in. If I rev it with the choke in, the v8 burble turns into an SAS firing range with bangs and pops all over the place.

So what's that all about ... the SU's still or the fuel pump or not a blue distributor cap? Meanwhile, I am getting damned good at heal and toeing!

Clunking

This week has seen the almost end of MNX500V as Geoff Something has agreed to take it away for me in exchange for a few bits from one of the other 7's that he has in a dismantled state in his warehouse. Geoff has been driving these ploppy cars around for many many years and thus, just might take Guru status off Ed. He suggested that the clunking is infact the trailing arm bushes as the bush hole has a tendency to oval itself after time.

Mr Haynes found the clunk (me arse)

With the beast on axle stands, a trolley jack and concrete blocks, propshaft removal began. Simon, (bloke next door, Who's Who has been updated!) and I wedged ourselves under and started to scrape knuckles. After about an hour and a couple of cuppas, off came the propshaft.

And there is nothing wrong with it. Cock! A quick trip round to Guru Ed confirmed this. So what else could it be? Bugger! Look at the drawings ... there are gears in the diff, there are teethy things on half shafts, and oodles of different bearings. It must be one of them then?

And as a new axle costs over 1000 big ones [almost as much as i paid for the damned thing!], the clunk is now referred to as a "feature"!