Happy New Fcuking Year

I am moving house in a matter of days. I had to move the useless sack of crap out of the garage on to the drive so as to fill the garage full of assorted crap ready for the mover man. And surprise surprise, it didn't start. At all. Not a sausage. It was pushed on to the drive and now will have to be towed to the new pad. Great. The new neighbours are going to love me! Useless sack of crap. I hate this fcuking car.

The great starting debacle pt 10

Never mind all of that sensible Frank stuff below! We have a breakthrough! last night, Ben (Who's Who) popped around to finish off his work. he was convinced that he had the answer. Last time he paid a visit, he had set a Top Dead Centre thing up which was incorrect apparently, as the piston is already at the top when at TDC and thus wouldn't ignite the mixture - or something like that. So, we removed the plugs (I am getting good at this bit!), he gapped them and I replaced them, except #1.

He then set the TDC thing which is somewhere at the front next to the fan, to 6 degrees. I really need to find out what all of this means! Whilst I turned the crank via the big nut on the alternator, he played with #1's hole. Following that, he shone a light somewhere around the distributor. It was at this point, and not for the first time, that he tried to explain what he was doing - it was something to do with checking the earth on the coil I think. I felt rather like a spotty GCSE kid asking a nuclear physician to quickly run through how to make a fission bomb.

Once all that was done, the cap and leads went back on. The Beast was a little desperate, and I could see the strain on Ben's face, but it eventually went. It was a fantastic - but not a very pretty noise. We are backfiring and popping even more so than before. But who cares ... the Beast lives! "The great starting debacle" is over. Raise a glass for the new series: "The great tune up".

The great starting debacle pt 9

Cock. I think the Beast is dead. Thursday last, my old school mate Ben came round to try is hand at beast repair. Ben is a mechanic. Ben has been a mechanic for 20 years. Ben has got a big van with lots of big tools in it.

He tried the following: set the distributor via me turning the back wheel; tested electric currents in various wires; took out spark plus and sniffed them; tested sparks; sprayed fuel directly into the plug holes; sprayed fuel directly into the carbs; undid fuel pipes to check that fuel was being pumped; checked sparks; removed the rocker covers.

Cock. He was there for 2½ hours. He left with my SD1 manual, confused and a little miffed ... his professional pride dented by the Beast! I think it is terminal. Don't think that selling the V70 would be a good idea!

The great starting debacle pt 8

Even Lionel and his electric brain couldn't get it going this weekend. My borrowed spare box thing make chuff all difference. I don't even have a chuffin' spark now. Unfortunately for him, Ed happened to pop round. He tried to bypass the box straight to the coil. That didn't chuffin' work either. The rabbity wires are still rabbited. The coil might be chuffed. The box thing might be chuffed. The dizzy might be chuffed. And to top it all, the chuffin' sun has been out all chuffin' week. I should have purchased one of these...

A letter from America

Well more a forum entry actually from Tom in the USA via the great www.triumphtr7.com. This is going to be the first port of call on the weekend. I am almost exited!

hi steve, here is how to check the ign power circuit.
part 1: you will find a solid white wire on the ballast resistor and also a white/yellow wire. check to see that the white wire has power at all times the key is on. the white/yellow wire will show some voltage, but less than battery volts in run. when in start, the white/yellow wire should have full battery volts to improve the spark for starting. this wire comes from the starter solenoid.

Part 2: if all this is happening, check at the coil + terminal for voltage with the key on and for higher voltage when cranking.

if part 1 is ok and part 2 is not, you have a fault in the resistor pack, if part 1 is ok as well as part 2, the symptoms you describe usually indicate a bad module in the distributor.

this applies to all factory tr8, with original dist and resistor pack.

Note to Fil: if you could pick the brains of the Lucas God that would be handy! I am getting a spark on one of the plugs when I turn the key. As soon as the key is in the "rest" position, bye bye spark. I am led to believe that it could be the ballast resistor, the distributor or the coil. The above forum posting may point to the problem. I now have a spare ballast resistor to check, but if your Dad has any further ideas, please let me know!

The great starting debacle pt 7

Hello and all of that. So here we are again. Since we last spoke, there have been some changes made in our clan. It has been decided, stupidly most probably, that the lovely and very reliable Volvo S40 is going. A 7 seater planet killing towing machine is to be its replacement. Also going is the minging but very reliable Volvo V70 as the planet killer will effectively take its place. That means that the Beast is to become the second car and my transport to work. This all sounds great as this is what I have wanted for 20 years. And then I go into the garage. And then I am presented with my "project".

Since I lobbed my spanners a couple of weeks ago, we have moved on a little bit. I had the starter reconditioned. This was put into place on Saturday. Although it sounded better, it still didn' t fire. #70th plug removal showed the usual - fuel soaked plugs. These were cleaned and replaced.

It was then decided to bypass the fuel pump as it had been suggested before and I hadn't checked it, and I didn't really know what else to do. After borrowing a submersible pump from Paul, I had to get some fuel. Returning with the fuel, I met Stuart/Stewart. Only turns out that 6 doors away there lives a bloke who used to work for Grinnall!!!

It was like watching a surgeon at work! Off came the SU's and out came the screwdrivers. He was working so fast that he looked like he had four arms. #71st removal and the plugs were cooked and replaced. Cock!

Very very nearly. It ALMOST starts when the key is turned. But as soon as the key is returned to the "run" position, it loses its spark. Stuart/Stewart suggested it may be the electronic ignition or at least a lead going to it / from it.

This is now the Holy Grail:

Monsters

Monsters and evil still lurk in my garage which is why there has been no recent blog updates. By evil I mean the Beast. We are still not friends. I am still very reluctant to go anywhere near it. I had the starter motor looked at - it were buggered. Yes I know that this fact might explain the starting debacle, however, I am loathed to refit the recon'd starter through fear of having to begin a post entitled "The great starting debacle pt 7". Oh and I haven't picked up the starter yet either!

You all know what's on the To Do List. You also all know that it don't start either. But. For some unknown and strange reason. I bought the Beast a tonneau cover today. Am I trying to ignore my true feelings?

The great starting debacle pt 6

Another fruitless day. On Sunday Lionel came round. The idea was that we were going to see how much the matrix in the heater leaked, and to see if a bottle of Radweld would sort out the problems. I assured him that it would start as it had purred the weekend (see video as proof!) before and had sort of started only a few days ago. We installed the shiny new heater hoses and topped up the water and were ready to test.

It'll start my arse. Out come the spark plugs for the 68th time and out comes a wire brush and my Black & Decker paint scraping heat gun. Once completed, it started for about 5 seconds before stopping. And then the battery died. By this time, Simon had come over to play and join in the fun. We decided to push the car out of the garage so that we could try to jump start it off Lionel's van. We missed the side of the garage by a gnat's todger. A white stripe down the OS door really would have been the final straw.

It'll start my arse. Just like Mr Ben, Paul popped around to see what was (n't) going on. The Beast now had it's very own Formula One team playing with it. Paul realised that Simon's jump leads were pooped and thus they were changed. Start my arse. We then checked the spark on one of the plugs. All was well with the spark, however, Paul noticed that the plug gap was slightly too big (a slight under statement). Out came the plugs for the 69th time and so did Simon's feeler gauges.

Paul then swapped Lionel's van with his Land Rover and brought out the thickest pair of jump leads known to man. Start my arse. He then did some things that I still don't quite understand! It went something like this: he connected the negative lead to the engine via the battery and the positive lead to the starter motor (bejaysus that made a few sparks!). It was then decided by Paul and electrical guru Lionel, that the the Beast's earth was dung as was the positive. I must admit that whatever he did, it sounded much better when the ignition key was turned. Still didn't chuffing start though.

It was at this point that whilst being ridiculed about my Beast (including the suggestion that street parties were held by the previous owner when I parted with my cash (sorry Neil!) ), that Karen brought over a plastic bag containing bits of plastic interior trim dropped off by Neil only moments before! Despite assuring them that he was actually quite a caring former owner, my "Pit Team" guffawed helplessly.

The To Do List has thus grown to include #25 change the +ve and -ve leads and battery terminals. Will it ever work again?

The great starting debacle pt 5

It's been a few weeks so I decided to go on a restart adventure. Out come the spark plugs. Out comes the WD40. On goes Simon's flame torch gun thing. And away we go, spluttering and choking into life. But this time I was ready. I had a Haynes manual, a screwdriver and a Simon. And now she sits idling nicely at about 800 rpm's with not (many) a backfire anywhere. I am loathed yet to cross tuning the carbs off the To Do List. Nevertheless, Hurrah! Just listen to this ...

Publish Post

The great starting debacle pt 4

Of course I have wired up the distributor cap properly. Do you think I am some sort of tit?! Ahem. So, it don't go round in order of 1 to 8 then?! 1-8-4-3-6-5-7-2 is it?

We'll test the fuel pump whilst we are here by disconnecting a hose and with the help of a milk bottle. Bugger all wrong with that then. Next!

With the cap connected up properly (I found out that there was a back and front as well!), work started on removing 8 spark plus. Lionel kindly soaked them in WD40 and set about cooking them with Simon's gas lamp gun thing. 8 plugs back in and the moment of truth ...

U-bloody-rika! The beast is alive - not happy but alive! And more importantly, I can cross a few things off the Winter To Do List too ...

gone is #06 as the current one appears to squirt fuel into milk bottles perfectly;
tick against #07 as you have already seen;
and another tick on #18 - no more Flintstone holes

All of the above was achieved with the help of a new beast friend - Ian the RAC man from the corner house. He has several V8 Land Rovers too! The Whos Who makes better reading by the day. Wonder if any of them know how to tune twin carbs?

Dashboard removal next. I may even be able to do that on my lonesome?! Watch this space!

The great starting debacle pt 3

This weekends Beast news ... the new [black] cap and rotor were put into place and it still didn't start. I have taken all of the plugs out, which were very sooty and petroly [quite ridiculous after about 50 miles] and gave them all a good clean with a rag. And it still didn't start. Cock! Now where did I put that battery charger?

The great starting debacle pt 2

The battery is charged; I add another tenners worth of fuel just in case; so here goes ...

B U G G E R ! WTF is wrong with it now?

Paul reckons that the plugs are now coated with fuel and the only way to sort them out is to remove them and bake them in an oven or nuke them with a blow touch. He said it with a straight face too so I presume it could be true. Lionel though suggests he is talking dung, that it may be a distributor thing. Guru Ed is yet to suggest anything. However, he is coming to take the teabag away next week, so I may just grab him then.

The battery is flat again. The initial recharge was #23 on the to do list. Does this count as #23 again or #24?

The phrase bad to worse springs to mind. I leave you with this picture ...